The act of giving assistance to those that ask for it
No one lives a life that is without suffering, hardships or difficulties. It is also true that physical hardships and emotional/mental hardships are not to be viewed as worse or lesser in regards to the degree of pain or suffering the two can cause comparative to each other. They are two leaves of the same branch, and the reverberations or effects that echo into the future of one's life from those difficult or traumatic events may waver into each others realms. Meaning that, one who was beaten as a child by otherwise supportive and encouraging parents, may end up with mental disorders or destructive behaviours or ideas... likewise, one who has been berated and "put down" by his or her parents, could just as likely indulge in self harm, such as cutting oneself with razors or burning oneself with lighters, etc.
So then the question no longer remains, "Who has suffered more greatly?", it is simply "How has one suffered?".
The time will come when one discovers each event's reason, specifically speaking, the time when one is able to look at an event in life and see in depth, the exact dynamics of any said event. This results no doubt in a person recalling childhood events or situations that had once eluded his intelligence or understanding, or now seems to imply so much more than what had been perceived in early youth.
The result is the same in all humans, as we are still small in spiritual integrity and human greatness... we harbour resentment, ill will and or desires for revenge or a skewed brand of so called "justice". But this will only ensure a continual momentum of suffering and self-hate, which generates animosity, self pity, irresponsibility, resentment and a host of other unworthy delusions.
It is the duty of all humans to end the habitual telling of self excusing lies, self grandstanding and the putting down and belittling of others in order to excuse our own individual shortfalls or character flaws. We must first identify within our own line of thinking and reasoning, that there is a flaw... namely, that we look for fault in others for our shortcomings. We must instead, have an "aha" moment so to speak. We must realize that we are just being irresponsible, redirecting the blame on everyone but ourselves.
In my own life experience I can say that, we all do this. However, I eventually had to come to a point in my life where in order to truly embrace the spiritual teaching, and honestly claim an effort to evolve, I had to admit to pointing the blame at others (being irresponsible for my actions) as a way to make myself feel in the right, to avoid being the one at fault.
The moment came when I said to myself, "Hold on, this is not right. I need to stop blaming the world, and start finding the real root cause of each and every issue/problem". From that point onwards, I found all these seemingly great and twisted problems to be nothing more than events seen unclearly, through a prism of ignorance or foolishness. I began to overcome large obstacles and neutralize grave evils and ill feelings very easily. I began to see people in a much deeper way, and as they truly were. Their individual character flaws and negative traits that manifested in their behaviour and words seemed to be so clear and identifiable. I thus gained not only a deeper understanding, but also a greater tolerance and love for my fellow humans.
I thought soon afterwards, that if I showed people (through action) my new found inner change/growth, that they too would likewise change for the better...this was a mistake. Never expect anything of anyone. When you have an expectation of something coming your way, that you deserve something... you will be disappointed. For example, as much as you have become willing to apologize, rather than a person seeing the greatness in your virtue, they are more likely to exploit you by claiming to be the one who is "always right" or "you are always apologizing, you are always admitting you were wrong and I was right", etc.
Recently I have lived through the life experience that, the higher you climb, the further you are capable of falling. I was very tempted to find what others were doing wrong, or what others were failing to provide me with. "Why didn't they care", "Why didn't they support me when I needed it most"... things like that. However, regardless of the character traits and habits I have developed due to the actions that my parents did not take when I was a child, and all the things they did not teach, and all the times they shirked their paternal duties... it is all valid - the reasons why I might have been ill-equipped to face adulthood (being spoiled, no affection, etc), however it is void in the face of harsh reality... chiefly the realization that, I am an adult, and am responsible for every action that I take, every thought that I manifest, and every reason that I conceive.
I cannot expect to end up with a couple of girlfriends that share my view of marriage, or who's ideas of how many children to bare parallel my own, or to expect that I would find a mate who would have the same ideals as to location of living space, and lifestyle in general as my own. What I can expect is that if I try and succeed, at being the greatest man that I can be, given my ability and resource... I can expect that those who see the true value in all things, will no doubt see the potential in me.
Therefore, you see, I have demonstrated how a simple realization in relation to human behaviour, the acquisition of self responsibility can exponentially flourish itself into something so far reaching and deeply penetrating, it almost makes one shudder to think that this is merely a spark in the great flame of the spirit. To know that such true power can be wielded by each human, and that this is only a brief taste of the awesome and mighty force that dwells in infinity, as the very same reservoir of possibility propagates itself in further splendid bloom. Truly, glory be to Creation.